Women can cause damage to other women—even as they intend to uplift them. Addressing it requires healing and the support of women together.
“I’m sorry, may I ask a question? You all keep talking about ‘it’ and I know I’m supposed to keep the notes of this meeting. So, can you tell me what ‘it’ is?”
The whole conference table went silent. There were probably 10 people in the room—mostly pastors. This was my first full time job ever. I was one year out of college and I had always managed to find plenty of temp work, but the temp market had dried up. My choice was to work full time and give up dance auditions, or not pay the rent. I chose to pay the rent. This is how I found myself in the position of full time ‘executive assistant’ working for a church bureaucracy. In my mother’s day, it was called ‘secretary.’ And one of the roles of a secretary is to take notes at meetings where other people talk. I had attended five colleges, earned a master’s degree, learned to speak three foreign languages, performed on international stages, but I felt totally out of place as a secretary. At just over five feet tall, with perky blond hair, I knew I looked the part, but I was not well suited.